In This Issue

	Holiday Tips for the Caregiver
	If you answer yes to any of these questions, Hurley Elder Care Law can help
	Life Care Planning Goals
	The Nuts and Bolts Guide to VA Benefits

Holiday Tips for the Caregiver

	The holidays can be a difficult time of the year for caregivers. It is challenging to balance caring for an elderly loved one and self imposed holiday expectations. For some the holidays become a time of exhaustion and stress. Asking for support and help from family, friends and professionals during this time can be crucial. A plan to decrease stress on the caregiver will enable families to enjoy festive occasions and realize that there is much to enjoy. Here are some tips and suggestions:
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If you answer yes to any of these questions, Hurley Elder Care Law can help.

		Has the elder been diagnosed with a mentally or physically debilitating disorder such as Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s, ALS, stroke or a decline in functional capacity?
		Is the elder isolated due to the recent death of a spouse, or have family that either lives too far away or is too busy to provide adequate care?
		Is the elder soon to be discharged into a care facility or currently receiving in-home care?
		Does the elder have a variety of healthcare providers and need coordination and advocacy for quality care?
		Does the elder seem unusually concerned about costs of medication and services, indicating he or she may be having financial troubles?
		Does the elder have assets that fall between $50,000 and $400,000 – enough to finance a short stay in a care facility but not enough for an extended stay?
		Does the elder have a spouse whose financial needs must be considered in light of the elder’s medical condition?

Life Care Planning Goals

1. Meeting the elders’ immediate health care and long-term care needs.
2. Making sure the elder/family is making good health care and long-term care decisions.
3. Helping the elder/family sort through the maze of their long-term care options including residential options.
4. Identifying and accessing public benefits and resources to pay for care should the elder meet the qualifying criteria.
5. Help with asset management, including the burden of home ownership and personal property.
6. Providing the entire family the peace of mind that comes from knowing their loved one is monitored by a team that combines legal and financial expertise with specialized knowledge of the elders’ physical, mental and emotional health.
7. Ensuring the highest level of independence the elder can achieve, while ensuring safety.

Holiday Tips for the Caregiver

Caring for a family member at home Adjust expectations Modify family traditions to make caregiving easier. Suggest a “pot luck” meal and invite a small group of people. Have a large dinner catered or pick up a meal. Discuss holiday celebrations with relatives and close friends, in order to make sure that everyone understands the situation and shares realistic expectations. Understand the needs of the family member with health issues. Be aware that the person with health issues may also feel a loss during the holiday season. Involve that family member in as many holiday activities as possible. Avoid busy places such as large cities and noisy restaurants. Also avoid visiting relatives with large families to avoid stress, germs and over excite that can cause agitation. Don’t neglect yourself Understand that it is natural to experience feelings of anger, frustration and guilt. Be prepared for some stress. Arrange for respite care and enjoy a movie with a friend. Take time for yourself. Learn to set and understand your limits. Listen to your body. It will tell you when you have had enough. Learning to understand and set your limits means honoring and valuing yourself. Remember that you do not have to say “yes” to everything. Gifts for the Caregiver If you have a member of your family who is caring for someone, there are many gifts that are truly useful. If you are the caregiver, you can suggest one of these gifts to anyone who asks. Tickets to a show or a gift certificate for the movies. Certificates for home repairs. Respite care. A family member or friend can volunteer to sit with your loved one or offer to pay a certain amount so that a home care agency may be hired. Dinner out or gift certificate to local restaurants. Cleaning service: once a year, once a month, or once a week. Make your own coupons for free errands or meals. Tapes or books that could be practical, fun or inspiration based on preferences. For a loved one residing in a facility Bringing your family member home from an assisted living community or skilled nursing. Plan a short visit and have a backup plan to return your loved one early if necessary. Plan festivities and meals early in the day, and not after dark if possible. Prepare family members and guests for the changes in your loved one’s current abilities and limitations. Limit the family and visitors to the number and ages that can be tolerated comfortably. Remember that high activity levels may cause unnecessary and unpleasant responses. Alternatives to a home visit for people living in an assisted living community or skilled nursing facility. Celebrate at the facility and plan to participate in the facility’s holiday events. A stroll or wheelchair ride around the community can be a delightful gift as your loved one can show off the family. Even if your family member has a limited ability to converse, he or she can still enjoy the company of a familiar face, who recognizes him or her and will hold their hand, hug them, sing with them, read a prayer or sacred text and then enjoy a cup of tea or a cookie. Most times it is not the tangible gifts or the holiday traditions that matter most to a family member in an assisted living community or nursing home, rather it is the knowledge that at any given moment they are loved and not forgotten. Finally, forgive yourself for the lack of decorating, the on-line shopping and the skipped Christmas cards. Instead, congratulate yourself on a job well done. Remind yourself that your health and sanity are a gift to your loved ones. By skipping some of the frills, they will have more of you and that is far more important than a perfect Christmas.